Today thousands of high school kids will learn the direction of their life by going online and checking out their score on the SAT. Yep, that’s what the SAT is all about…do well and you’ll live a life of leisure, luxury, and prosperity. Do crappy and…well…you may as well forget about ever owning a TV bigger than 28″. That’s the American Dream in action.
Some American’s aren’t really familiar with the SAT, as they took the ACT, a competitor to College Board’s almost ubiquitous. For me, I took the SAT, as I always prefer to sit than act. That explains my long periods of inactivity on this blog in case you were wondering.
For those who want to reminisce your high school days when you had to drag yourself out of bed before 11 am on a Saturday, a handful of trusty Number 2 pencils (anything else might cause a cosmic paradox and destroy the universe), and potentially a hangover, you can actually get a sample SAT question every day. For those to lazy to click the link, here’s today’s question (no peeking at the answer below):
To Judith, traveling was ——- ; her sister, however, looked upon each trip as an ——- experience.
- confusing . . unnerving
- joyous . . exciting
- exhilarating . . interminable
- stupefying . . unhappy
- tiring . . exhausting
I hate these questions, they’re ridiculous, boring, and always just a touch vague. However, they are easy to come up with:
Harvey thought the SAT was _______, but Chuck found the experience to be _______.
- simple . . fun for everyone
- a pile of excrement . . a monkey
- about chairs . . about unnecessary pressure
- bullshit..remarkably useful and necessary
- an acronym for Some Annoying Test . .awkward because of a guy named Harvey who sat behind him
The answer to my question is, of course, 4. So, if you meet Chuck, feel free to pummel him a bit. You’d better do it now though, as he’s likely to go to MIT, invent “The Internet 2″ and then will have bodyguards that can tear your arms off.
The answer to the real SAT question was 3. Here’s how you stacked up against a bunch of 17 year olds:
You’ve got to feel really bad if you’re in the 20% right now. If you’re at work, you should probably turn yourself into your boss. What’s that? Too easy for you? Try this one on for size, bigshot:
Not so tough now. You see a square root sign and panic. Go ahead, grab a pencil, I’ll wait.
Give up yet? The answer is E. Right, right, you’re saying, “Clearly it’s E. I just didn’t want to waste my energy to figure it out.” Liar! The answer is really C. I tricked you with my remarkable mental cunning. You are banned from this blog starting now (refer a friend though).
Good luck, kids. Your whole life comes down to this one test. No pressure. You’ll do fine. Parents…this is why your teenager might be in a really lousy mood today (worse than usual).
I’m sure some of you want to know what I got on the SAT…well…I got a
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Posted on May 22nd, 2008 by Jonathan - Everyone But You
Filed under: A Little Bit of Everything, Press
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